Getting rejected hurts. Whether it is from a job opportunity, romantic date and so forth, dealing with rejection can be very hard. It can leave you devastated, confused and just downright angry. You can begin to blame yourself thinking that there must be something wrong with you to not get what you want after trying so hard.
Rejection can cause us to feel a great deal of emotions ranging from confusion, sadness and even anger. It is usually hard to understand why you have been rejected, which can lead to feelings of not being “good enough”.
All of us have or will face rejection at one point or another hence it is important to learn how to deal with it productively. Here are tips on dealing with rejection that you will find helpful:
Don’t suppress your feelings (cry if you have to)
Rather than suppressing the emotions that come with rejection, allow yourself to feel them. If you feel like crying, go ahead and cry it out. It is so much better to let your negative emotions out than to keep them bottled up inside as this is not good for you. You cannot simply “get over it” if you have not processed it. Ignoring the pain will only make things worse.
Another helpful tip is to talk it out with people that love you and accept you. It is okay to say exactly how you feel. Remember these are people that love and appreciate you. Sharing your feelings with them will help you get a proper view of the rejection. For example, if you were feeling down and thinking that you were not good enough, they can remind you that it is simply not true and that you are loved and valued.
Seek clarity on why you are being rejected
Seeking clarity will help you in dealing with rejection and avoiding a downward spiral. This can apply especially if you have been rejected from an opportunity such as your dream job. Instead of sitting around discouraged, take positive action. For example, gain some insight from the employer. An article written by Laura Garnett, a performance strategist and author on Inc.com said “Ask for feedback on why you didn’t make the cut. More often than not, the company will be happy to offer some feedback or closure on why you were not offered the job. Some questions you can ask are; how did you perceive my strengths? At what point in the process did you realize I was not the right fit for the job? Would you see me better suited for a different department?”
Getting feedback will help you focus on what you can improve on and do better next time.
Reflect on what could have led to the rejection
Sitting down to reflect on yourself will help you in dealing with rejection. For example, If you have not been getting shortlisted for job interviews, you might want to revise your curriculum vitae and perhaps your cover letter. The same applies if you have been turned down on a job. Think deeply about the whole experience constructively. Make a note of questions that you had difficulty with or questions that stood out in your mind. Think about how well you prepared and how you handled yourself during the whole process. Did you do thorough research before the interview? Did you answer all the questions effectively?
Taking time to reflect will help you to improve on what you did not execute properly and certainly increase your chances for next time.
It might not be about you, but about the rejecter
Sometimes being rejected doesn’t mean you’re not at the top of the list. Perhaps it’s because you’re too good to be taken. Sometimes a date may reject you simply because they feel too insecure or believe that you are too good for them. A company might turn you down because you may be overqualified for the position or they simply cannot afford to pay you your worth. That is the more reason why it is good to seek clarification, because you might walk away feeling sad thinking there is something wrong with you when in actual fact, you have a lot going for you. The right fit for you will definitely come along, be it a job or a partner.
Rejection is not only about you, it is also about the one who rejects.
Sometimes it’s a blessing in disguise
We are programmed to associate the word rejection with failure on our part and a direct reflection of our own shortcomings or inability to get what we want. Sometimes rejection simply means redirection. It could be a blessing in disguise. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you got rejected from an opportunity and received a better one instead? Yes, sometimes some things are just not meat for us because there is something better. And sometimes, getting rejected could save us from something we were not prepared to handle.
Draw away your attention from rejection
Do something you love in order to take your mind away from the rejection. You can engage in your favourite hobby, you can take a rest: go for a walk, take a nap, or have a nice meal. This helps to recharge yourself physically and mentally.
Learning from rejection
When you learn how to deal with rejection the proper way, it will help you to get rid of negative emotions that come with it and you will build resilience. It will also teach you important lessons such as the fact that life will not always go your way but whatever happens, you will still survive. It will also teach you to be resourceful and look for alternatives when your plan A does not work out. It also teaches that the only approval you really need is yours.
Rejection doesn’t always mean you’re not good enough. If you realize that rejection is a way to help you find what truly fits you, someday you’ll find what is perfect for you and be accepted.