Building confidence after a break up can be one of the most difficult things we can ever do. It may even prove to be one of the hardest processes in our lives.
Losing a boyfriend/girlfriend or a husband/wife can feel like your heart is literally being torn out.
People are not well equipped to deal with break-ups. This is because we rarely are taught anything about healthy coping after a break-up.
This article is will give you helpful strategies on how to build confidence after a break up in the healthiest way possible.
How to build confidence after a break up
Don’t fight your feelings
The first step in building confidence after a break up is not fighting your feelings. Deal with the emotions and accept the reality of what has happened because living in denial can lead to depression.
Allow yourself to feel the emotions rather than burying them within yourself as they may resurface later.
If you try to ignore or suppress these feelings, you will likely only prolong the normal grieving process, and sometimes get totally stuck in it.
Embracing your emotions will help you move through the grieving process as quickly as possible and let you move on to ultimately have more satisfying relationships in the future.
Understand that break-ups are often an inevitable part of dating. Remember that some of your dating relationships will end up in a break-up. This is the very nature of dating.
Getting closure may quicken this process
This involves accepting that the relationship ended. Bringing closure to the relationship is impossible if you continue to hold onto the hope that the relationship will be resurrected.
This means do not wait by the phone for a call, or try to text them to try to have a little more connection, or beg to get back together, or make threats to get them back.
Don’t rely on your ex for support or try to maintain a friendship.
It’s not helpful to depend on your ex after a break-up, especially to help you overcome the pain of the break-up. It makes it a lot harder to get over someone if you’re continuing to see them or trying to maintain a friendship.
Prioritize Basic Self-Care.
Self-care refers to ensuring that your basic needs are being met, despite the fact that you may be feeling upset and depressed due to the break-up.
You may not feel like eating but do it anyways, and try to make some healthy choices in what you eat. Give yourself ample time to sleep, particularly since this may be difficult for you.
Having dealt with the emotions, the next step is to keep yourself busy by doing things you enjoy such as reading a book, watching a movie, listening to music or any other activity you find entertaining.
It is not advisable to keep yourself secluded after a break up as this may lead you into negative thinking. Go out, get some fresh air, visit friends.
Get Back into A Routine
Returning to routines shortly after the initial blow can help calm you down and give you a returning sense of control.
This might include routines around wake-up and bedtimes, meals, school or work related activities, exercise, and time with others to mention a few.
If there was ever a time to pamper yourself, it is after a break-up. You need to do something that will actively make yourself feel better. Indulgence can take many forms, depending upon what you really enjoy.
Taking a hot bath, buying something new, going to a special restaurant, getting a massage or taking a short trip are just some of the ways you can indulge yourself and help you build confidence after a break up.
Avoid Unhealthy Coping Strategies
There are several ways of coping with a break-up that are considered quite unhelpful and will likely only compound your problems.
These include such choices as drinking excessively, doing drugs, overeating, self-harm, gambling excessively, or becoming a workaholic.
You may be tempted to do whatever you can to avoid feelings of loneliness and pain, but it is essential to find healthier ways to cope.
Remember That You Can Survive On Your Own
It is important after a break-up to remind yourself that you were able to survive on your own. Before you entered the relationship and you will be able to survive on your own now that you’re no longer together.
Relationships do not and should not make us whole, even though they are a part of our life and our happiness.
We all need to be able to stand on our own and meet our own needs, regardless of the status of any one of our relationships.
Remember, the healthiest relationships are with two people who are able to meet their own needs
.See The Brighter Side of Things
It is worth reminding yourself there are some definite benefits to being single. You are now more able to put your own needs first.
You will have more control over your daily routines, not having to negotiate these with someone else.
Try to spend more time with friends and family, who may have been feeling neglected.
Eat what you want, when you want to. You will be able to meet lots of new people, since you now have more time to do so.
Realize Your Self-Worth
Just because it did not work out with someone does not mean that you have become less of a person.
Break ups can happen to anyone so do not be too hard on yourself. Try by all means to be the best version of yourself, physically, mentally as well as spiritually.
Maintain a positive towards life.
Remember that the end of a relationship is not the end of the world, there are plenty of fish in the sea.